After weeks of hoopla, we come to the crux of the matter. Are there enough people online in Valdosta to out-vote the rest of the country and make us ESPN's TitleTown?
The demographics are ugly. For instance, the population of Metropolitan New York is over 18,000,000 persons. If 1% of them go to the website to vote for New York that's 180,000 people; otherwise known as nearly twice the population of Lowndes County.
This is going to take a titanic effort. A community-wide hypnosis of the kind that can only be generated by the sports addicted and their abundant cliches. You know: "When the going gets tough the tough grab a mouse"; "Never, Never Never, Never Quit... clicking"; and "this is the year Atlanta Schools will finally dominate High School Football". Wait a minute, scratch that... even people in Atlanta don't believe that last one.
There is no reason to be discouraged. I have broken our task down to small steps to bring home a win. There are an estimated 41,929 households in Lowndes County. Internet penetration in the United States is 69.2% so that takes us down to only 29,014 houses able to vote at all. Using the same math and sources, Metropolitan New York has 5,471,935 homes able to vote.
So, if each Internet household in Lowndes County clicks on the website 188 times for each time someone in New York makes one click we can be in this thing. Easy right? Well, not so fast, some of us are going to have to click more to make up for those liberal wet blankets who teach at the college and then there are all those Yankees at Moody Air Force Base who'll be voting for Cleveland.
We are not without resources. We have plenty of preteen females. If there is one thing I learned from the 13 weeks of my life wasted watching one season of American Idol, preteen females are the only demographic with the mental toughness needed to endure the mind-numbing hours and days of voting over and over and over again. They have what it takes to win. We just need to motivate them.
I say let's get up a band of preteen females and promise them the High School football player of their choice as their personal Ken doll for a week -- but only if we win. The only cost will be the saltpeter pills the trainers will give the guys each morning. This as an alternative to the other surgical method of making them anatomically correct like Ken.
To lose is unthinkable, catastrophic. Scientists tell us that Testosterone levels in male and female fans drop significantly when one of their teams suffers a humiliating loss. All of Lowndes County will be irritated and depressed. Recriminations will be rife. Scapegoats will be found, and punished. People will pile out at stop lights and start slugging each other. It will be a brutal scene.
It is time to get serious about winning, Winnersville. Either we get some hopped-up preteen girls on computers, or we cheat. I am referring to the computer hacker who did a number on The Valdosta Daily Times website during the last city election. He pumped like 300 votes in 2 minutes to hijack the on-line straw poll for the Mayor's race.
Anyone got his phone number?
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The easiest thing in the world to do is make up your own facts. I did actual research for this trash. Visit Inside the Nest for links.
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Update: 7/24 The Valdosta Daily Times said that only one vote could be recorded per computer causing much heartburn. Now we are told that you can click as often as you wish. There are no captcha's either. It is a perfect setup for a hacker. Where are you hacker boy????
Update 7/26: Here are the results of the silly poll taken for this post:
Are you voting for Valdosta to be Titletown?
| What's Title Town? | 73% | |
| Yes | 20% | |
| No | 3% | |
| Will you hurt me if I tell the truth? | 3% | |
| I'm voting for Cleveland | 1% |
