Animal Ordinance of Valdosta; SECTION 11-6024. CARING FOR ANIMALS
It shall be unlawful for any owner or custodian of any cat to allow the cat to roam free on the property of another without permission of the owner or person in possession of that property, or without such cat wearing a collar with a current rabies tag attached.
Am I supposed to run ahead of Muffin knocking on doors each time she sashays into a yard asking if its OK if she walks through? Will I be exposed to fines if my cat rips the ears off of Bitsy down the street while trespassing in Bitsy's yard? The answer to both is -- yes.
How do you get a cat to wear a collar? Every time I try it the collar quickly goes missing and the cat smirks. If the city is going to insist on marking cats, they should let us use tattoos. Imagine the fun watching your cat maim a tattoo artist while getting a trashy tattoo on her butt just above the bikini line. That is what they call a two-fer.
I wondered if our city government had lost its mind when, in a bolt of synchronicity, I was looking for information on demented squirrels (don't ask) and found The American Bird Conservancy website titled, "Cats Indoors! The Campaign for Safer Birds and Cats."
Let us not be confused by double-speak. The bird lovers are posers out to lock your cat up. When did you last hear of a bird watching cat lover calling Mittens a "sweet little predator"?
According to the A.B.C., "cats kill hundreds of millions of birds, and more than a billion small mammals, such as rabbits, squirrels, and chipmunks, each year." They do more than kill. They catch them, bring them into the house, and torture them to death under the dining table while your wife screams at you.
In England, where they love dogs, a five-month survey of 964 free roaming cats showed that they brought home over 14,000 dead animals and still bitched if there was no food in the bowl. Cats wearing bells killed one third more than cats not wearing bells. So much for Jerry putting a bell on Tom. Speaking of old Tom and Jerry cartoons, the cats were very bad ratters. They only brought home a cumulative 162 rodents. Who knew?
In Wichita Kansas, the most prolific bird killer was a declawed cat. This is so wrong.
Cat owners also break federal laws by letting their cats run free. Here is an actual quote from the A.B.C. Website:
"The Migratory Bird Treaty Act (MBTA) prohibits the hunting, taking, capturing, or killing of any migratory bird. In seeming violation of this landmark law, owners of free-roaming cats permit their pets to kill birds protected by the MBTA."
Like Muffin would listen to me when I begged her not to kill a Piping Plover, Florida Scrub-Jay, or a California Least Tern.
"Muffin, stop! You're breaking Federal Law!"
Muffin looks at me blankly while she spits out a feather. She'll miss me while I'm in the pen.
Do you get the feeling that the bird lovers are getting a little peeved with us for allowing our cats to trespass on private property; commit murder and torture; and blithely violate Federal Law? Yes, they are tired of you. A PR campaign is under way to make you fearful and ashamed of yourself.
Their PR materials warn that free-roaming cats can be killed by cars, poisoning, other animals, human abuse, traps, theft!?!, Feline Leukemia Virus, Feline Panleukopenia Virus, Feline Infectious Peritonitis, Feline Immunodeficiency Virus, and Upper Respiratory Infections.
At my house, all of these sad cat deaths would be immediately followed by getting a NEW KITTEN!!!! Call it positive reinforcement for being socially irresponsible.
You can get disease from your cat. Rabies, the Plague, Cat Scratch Fever, Toxoplasmosis, Roundworms, and Hookworms can be transmitted to you if you neglect to take your cat to the vet for regular vaccinations. I'll be happy to do that if it means I don't have to change out the litter box.
Valdosta is a Bird Sanctuary. A Bird Sanctuary is really a killing ground where birds are attracted by bird feeders only to be killed and eaten by cats. Really. The A.B.C. says so. Your cat can legally kill a bird with her bare claws and eat it raw as long as she does it in her own yard or in the yard of a permissive neighbor.
On the other hand, if YOU do this you would be charged with bird molestation. You would also have a hard time getting dates.
Valdosta's Animal Control Ordinance Section 11-6024, Section F bears more than a striking resemblance to A.B.C.'s model ordinance for municipalities. If your neighbor decides your cat is a nuisance and complains, then you can be fined. More than likely you'll draw a pass on the first violation, but then you are on the hook for the next one.
The ordinance does not spell it out, but your options will be to move away from the damn idiot who complained, lock your cat inside from now on, or begin walking the cat on a leash like they do in Aurora, CO.
If you go for the last one, please call me and let me know when you plan to go on your first walk.
I just wanna watch.
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This trivial posting actually comes with a full listing of links to sources, see my shadow blog Inside the Nest.
